Hedgehog's Dilemma Explained:

The hedgehog's dilemma, also called the porcupine's dilemma, has been used by psychologists to describe intimacy problems in humans. To put it simply, because we are like hedgehogs, with prickly spines, intimacy can only lead to pain. The closer we get, the more we poke each other. As a result, as much as you are I might crave a close reciprocal relationship, we must keep our distance to avoid pain.

While it can often take extreme cases like physical abuse for the dilemma to manifest itself in an obvious way, each of us have a tendency to avoid relationships because of the potential pain. If I invest in the lives of those around me, I will get hurt. This is the reality of the broken world in which we live. Even a spouse, best friend, or family member can cause us pain, whether it is intentional or not.

As Christians, we are called to pursue relationships whether they hurt or not. We are called to make disciples of all nations, to love our neighbor, and to serve the "least" of those among us. The hedgehog's dilemma can be very real and painful for some people, but it is no excuse for us. We recognize that God restores relationships and brings healing. We know the joy of the Lord is our strength. Therefore we should boldly develop relationships with friends, family and even strangers, speaking the truth in love.

I realize this is easier said than done, but one of the first steps must be identifying our "dilemmas" and crushing them with the truth of God's word so He can enable us to truly love our neighbors.

What is your dilemma?